Who are you again?

People change, I changed, You changed.

Empty.

Do you ever feel empty? Feel like you've got nothing to love and nothing to look forward to, but for no reason?

I feel like that right now.
I don't know why...
I have amazing friends and i have some sweet stuff to look forward to but right at this moment i just cant feel it.
I've just got that gut instinct that's like "this sucks."
I think i just kinda need something to spice shit up at the moment.
Life's pretty much doing loops for me.
The same old mediocre average life of a teenager rolls up each weekend at the same station.
I'm not complaining, it isn't a bad life.
But as i said,
It could use some spicing up,
Something extreme, something out of the ordinary, something special.
I want to go on a holiday.
I want to meet some new people.
I want to do something exciting.

Unfortunately want is a few steps away from achievement so I actually have to put some effort into the goals I want to achieve.

The past two days have gone past so fast. Feels like the moment i shut my eyes i'm missing out on something.

I’ve come to realise how many friends of mine have been a waste of time. The thought of how much i put into friendships and how little i get back. My patience is finally spent. The down side of this is that I have no fuse now and just lash out at the wrong people at times. I know sometimes my opinions aren’t appreciated and people want to have their say and not want my input but i will not sit back n watch someone talk absolute crap on me or friends of mine or even twist a statement I have voiced.

The theory of “eye for an eye” and “tit for tat” is pissing me off. If someone does the wrong thing they should just admit to fault and apologize for their actions and not commit the same mistake again. There is no need for perpetual abuse or threats. Sick of all these people taking it upon themselves to solve other peoples problems by means of violence. I’ve been at fault many times n said things that shouldn’t be said but that's my own choice to voice my opinion and i have been pulled up by others many a time for having said the wrong thing. At the end of the day if it offends or someone is left bitter so be it! I'm not here to be everyone’s friend. If I dislike someone or disagree with anothers actions that's a normal logical thing and its my personal view cause not everyone thinks every aspect of another is perfect. I know some people who cant stand straight edge but i don't go around picking fights with them or pushing threats. Everyone was made different for a reason and that is through the choices one makes.

“Coming to terms with the lessons one learns, through the choices one makes is not easy”

Straight Edge

Straight Edge is the oath that separates me from the strife and self-destruction that plague the masses in our society.
Straight Edge to me is more than a lifestyle. It is a vehicle for change.
To it I will be forever true.


Sick of having people question my motives, or look down on me for my choices.
No way should I have to justify my life decisions and morals which equate to so much more than you could ever think of yourself.

Not being stuck up or close minded, but to put it out there, yes I do think I'm better than you for the choices I make.

My Greatest Wish

It is my greatest wish that people who I get to meet, become friends with, forge relationships and bonds of any description, will feel deep down, some small warmth at the mention of my name and the memories that we've made.

I just want, like everyone else, to be loved.

Said and Done.

the happiest i ever was, in between the sheets in your arms, ill never forget the days we used to sneak away together, although its been months, it's been days, its all i will remember.

but you know, i'm over you...

I suggest

I've really had it with the rain of the tears
The predictable storm that has come every year
And it sneaks in from shore with a bat in its hand
I'm trying I'm trying I'm trying I'm trying I can't
You're a thief and a witch but I love you to death
You steal my heart and curse under your breath
But the one thing that I can most willingly prove
That when you are gone I'll be fine without you





if you’re feeling a little bit sad or uptight and just can’t let go of everything your holding onto inside, i suggest buying angels and airwaves 'we don't need to whisper'.

Kiss & Catch.

some days i think i should try and play hard to get and learn to forget how easy i’d be to catch.

Distraction.

First blog post in a while which isn't going to be symbolic of anything, just upfront 100% on how i feel at the moment.
Right now I'm not feeling to great, every now and then I feel like im drifting away from friends,family etc.
I don't feel wanted or needed amongst many people of whom I'd like to.
I don't want to go through all this again, just no one seems interested in what I have to offer.
I fall for people way too frequently, and let them in on an even more frequent basis.
People bore me too much, Nothing personal, I lose interest quickly.
Not even sure which direction I'm taking this post in. Just needed to get all this off my chest, and with no one I can really talk to about things anymore...

One of my closest friends of the last few years is getting to me lately too. Dosen't seem to matter what i'm talking about, from tattoos to computers, place of work to moving out of home and relationships. There's always her telling me that its not good or playing it down alot. I'm sick of it, I'm getting to the point of not wanting to talk to her because I know whats coming.

I really just want to get away. I wish I never moved out of home in the first place. Not regretting it, Just felt like a waste of time, I left everything behind and now its hard to fit myself back into work for one. I don't feel like i'm welcome anymore. I've lost alot of friendships with people I worked with because they've grown and left me behind, which i always feel like was happening to me in school.

I hate feeling down.
Really need someone to cheer me up.
Thats all.