Now you will never know.

But now I'm done and gone.

Too bad for you.

What I wouldn't give...

Stamps cover pages, he has been chasing for months, strange citys, earie towns, dark streets, lonely nights. Echoeing foot steps in a desolate mind, one track mind, only thing he thinks about. Visions cut in and out, gives meaning to this veladrome of a life, its further and further everyday, stamps accumulate. Continually he chases, what he so longs for. She doesnt say a word, he believes he is the only one holding these stamp covered feelings. He try’s to express his feelings, he thought it would be easier but he became lost for words, she looks at his tired wasted soul as he stands slumped with regret in his eyes. She smiles and says “I love you”, he is in disbelieve as he looks up and into her dark street like eyes, the same ones he fell in love with, they scream help me more then anywords ever could, he is stunned not knowing how to react, he smiles as she reach’s in to kiss, stunned he kisses her and all the months of travel and chasing becomes nothing but a day of bliss, they both know without saying a word that they mean the world to one another and need each other for this world they live in isnt for them but they must fight on walk on move on, make new memories.

true love is found

heaven knows i’m miserable now

You might have loved me, if you had known me. If you had ever known my mind. If you would have walked through my dreams and memories. Who knows what treasures you might have found. Yes, you might have loved me. If you had only taken the time...

Thinking.

Thinking about quite alot today.
Forgot all about this blogspot.
Using it as a personal twitter I guess.
Highly doubt anyone will read my thoughts on here.

Realise.

why am i making this hard on myself, when there’s so many beautiful reasons i have to be happy.

Bio.

I haven’t got a hope in the world for anything nor any aspirations. I’m untidy and the mess is hidden under my bed, I’m still as heartbroken as i was two years back. Loveless, inspirationless, lonely and unsleepable.

Blank.

I feel like the whole worlds gone cold, I feel that there is no air left to breath, no reason to smile, to shower. to drink or to say cheers. I feel like this world is one large game of musical chairs, the music just wont stop right now, but when it does, I hope I'm not the last to find my way home. I wish that I could still wake up before lunch, or smile before dawn. I wish I could remember who I was to who I am from when I'm born. I forget how to fit this puzzle. The mould has been set, the cast iron bar has been placed though the doors of my own plight to gain significance, instead I've fooled my self with ignorance of another's indifference to believe I'm worth anything more than the bed that I sleep on or the moment I meet someone. But isn't that what it is to feel lonely, am I really innocent, well I haven't yet been proven guilty, but that's not much to really go by is it? I keep having these re-occurring flavors of dream. They weave through my iris and paint my mind fresh again and its raining. It's raining for forgiveness and motive, its staring back at me through the mirror. I've always wondered that if I had been born a ghost, not of who I was, before I was conceived, but the shadow of you, before I'd actually seen you. Before I'd realized that no matter how hard I try and fake my own reality. I'm bound and blinded and been force-fed an identity.

Not really in the mood for anything today.

It has been a long time coming.

No i havent forgot about this blog, just really havent had the time to post anything.
Everything has been so chaotic lately, I've moved out of home and had a few minor upsets with Owen.
Its our two year anniversary next month and i have no idea what we are doing for it, I really would have liked to have been able to go away for the weekend and just spend sometime together but unfortunately i havent been able to find a job thus far being down here, It hasnt been the fact that i havent put any resumes in either. Just no where is looking.
I put it in at a bakery which also makes coffees and teas today, im pretty hopefull for that, but i don't want to get ahead of myself incase it falls through.
Owen is at work at the moment and im drinking alone in his room, im so pathetic.
I really need to learn to stay away from vodka, im fine until someone asks if i want something to drink.
I dont really have anything else to update on right now.
I'm on stickam now too so if you happen to have an account you should add me on it. The user name is just ashleyxforsyth because i have little to no creativity. I'll also start posting pointless random facts again soon too, Sorry about the no updates as of late.
ps. sorry for typos and bad grammar

Drained.

Absolutely tired right now, I had to get up at 3:30am this morning to get ready for work. The day went all downhill from there. Had to train a new girl at work for front open, she barely paid any attention to what I was telling her, so I guess its fair to say I did two opens today. From there it was full busy in café, I made easily six toasted sandwiches within the first two hours, on top of so many coffees. Got sick of everyone walking off today leaving only Shailee and I to serve and clean up.
I'm telling Rod about leaving on my shift on Wednesday, as I still haven't got around to it, he's always busy or pretending whichever.
Anyway as I was saying worst day, the 11:30 starter didn't come in, didn't bother calling up sick either, reckoned that she didn't know that she was working. I'm going to be pretty pissed off if she doesn't get yelled at or whatever seeing as though I got all my shifts cancelled last week for the same thing, even though work knew I was sick the preceding days. So over work and the favouritism and shit that goes on.
So I had to stay back, not that I minded because the bus didn't come till quarter past anyway and I for once really need the money. Now I'm completely drained, wanting an early nights sleep but I really want to talk to Owen even though I am struggling to keep my eyes open right now and it is only 5:30.
Glad I have a day off tomorrow, nothing planned at all, just want to sleep in. I don't have another day off until Sunday after this. I'm going to be sore,tired and bitchy Sunday. Any bet I'll have a whole heap of shifts next week too. I can't work the weekend though because Owen comes up. So excited I can't wait just to kiss him again, He is the single most amazing person I have ever met, even though I treat him like shit most of the time.
I stayed out at Jakes the other night, Heaps disappointed, Didn't like the fact that I was mainly only invited so that Claire could use me as a means of lying to both Matt and her parents.
I got so sick from eating cheese off the pizza, and was denied going to the bathroom because they were mucking around down there for the past two hours, Was really pissed off and I don't care if either of them are reading this.
Wasted a night and an entire day seeing as though I didn't get home until seven, only went though because it would be the last time I would see Claire before I moved, Too bad she wasted half the night being all over Jake when she is meant to be with Matt, a point raised by both Danni and I.
Really should stop typing.

Flamingos.

Flamingos are only pink because they eat shrimp, the more shrimp they eat the brighter their feathers become. This happens because of high amounts of bacteria inside the shrimp. 

Flamingos that lack in colour are usually malnourished, unhealthy or still young. Flamingos in zoos are fed a lot more fish and less shrimp hence why they are a paler shade of pink.